My shell

You ever find yourself a place
Where only you know yourself- no one else will find
No one will ever know about what's under that smiling face
All the questions, secrets, and pains swimming in your mind

I have one-kinda like a turtle's shell
A place I feel secure, alone with my thoughts and my frustration
A solace from reality-almost like a padded cell
It's like my personal imagination station (lame i know but come on)

Anyway...in this place I see the real me
It's the me I want nobody else to see
Dirty, failing, despicable, two-face
An embarrasment to humanity-to his family a disgrace

All I ever wanted was someone who would hear
My relentless ramblings and self-centered hot air
And I found that me plus some tunes do the trick
The questions, doubt, and self-hatred go away rather quick

Yeah, I want to be broken God-is that what this is
Are You breaking this shell-forcing me to let others in
I don't want to...I like me-I prefer this ignorant bliss
I really want to change but I of my own strength I never win

Please God-break me of this evil shell
No more hiding away-freedom is what I seek
Save me from this personal hell
Your face is what I'm screaming for-my spirit is so weak

Take me now Lord-save me now from myself
This disgusting selfish prideful mess I've made
If You find something useful here please don't put me on the shelf
I want to be used...I beg to be in the fight-your willing blade