Well this ends a period in my life I've entitled, "All Quiet Along the Home Front". I am currently spending my last evening in the local Smithfield's Chicken and BBQ (free WiFi and awesome sweet tea). Working on projects, assignments, online topical discussions, tests, and labs every day has kept me somewhat busy as I did 2 classes in 2 months and picked up 3 other classes the last two weeks of August.
Going through this time of waiting I have learned a lot that I was not expecting but anticipating. I knew that being home, there was a great potential for unexpected learning and growth, cause when I'm not in a place where everything is regimented (West Point, or Verity for example) unexpected things happen.
I cannot say that I performed super-awesome in all the different ways you may rate performance as a man finishing up college/son at home/child of God/brother with siblings...and for those many short-comings I feel more and more as this phase of life ends.
Being on my own...and at home initially brought many stresses and there were adjusting for all, having me back home. My biggest frustration was being 24, with no "prospects", just school, and still "living in Mommy's basement" so-to-speak. After a few weeks of banging out with my folks my desire to be treated like an adult, with some freedom, there was a change in their attitude towards me, not one of disappointment and condescension, but rather one of hands-off-ness, and "if you want some direction, you are going to need to ask for it"-ness.
The change was nice, but that is not to say I didn't know what to do with it all...looking back on it, I wish I had spent more time with my family than I did doing school, but at the same time, I did perform very well academically during this period, not only getting great grades, but planning out my academics to the finish line, finances and all.
Having a firm grasp on my future academically and financially is a freeing thing, I may make it through my bachelor degree with under $9000 in student loans...and that in itself is a huge motivation to graduate with my feet running in a career.
Looking back, I wish I spent more time with my family than I did, but Jessie and I did do a lot together, running every other day, Ellie or Jessie spraying me with a hose as I worked out in the front lawn...wrestling with Bob whenever he caught me going from one meal to the next. Good times, that I cherish.
I think one of the most invaluable lessons I learned is how, when balancing your priorities between work and family how sticky and difficult that can be...and how when I get my own place....it'll definitely have internet...
I was able to sing every other Tuesday at Orchard House Coffee Shop at their Open Mic and made good friends with Joe - that was cool...kinda wish I had more time to get to hang out with him and his gf...but that balance between my friends and my goals...right now top priority is to get that degree and certifications...everything else kinda took a back seat.
Which was not a great thing...my relationship with God took a back seat as well...there were stumblings and struggles I went through that if I had read my Bible regularly would have had a greater chance of victory in...my desire with this next step, is that I shore up my relationships with my family and friends here as well as with God, as all of them have taken a pounding with my desire to excel in the IT field.
Balance...finding that balance...that has to be the biggest struggle/lesson I've had to discover...I can't say I know the balance yet...but I'm working hard to find it...
This was a song I heard on the radio...that reminded me of me (which is another thing...argh...when you get so focused on YOU goals...that is all that you talk about and boy isn't that boring and self-centered...) but the song goes like this:
I don't know where I'm going
But, I sure know where I've been
Hanging on the promises in songs of yesterday
An' I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time
But, here I go again
Here I go again
Tho' I keep searching for an answer
I never seem to find what I'm looking for
Oh Lord, I pray You give me strength to carry on
Cause I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams
An' here I go again on my own
Goin' down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An' I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time
I'm just another heart in need of rescue
Waiting on love's sweet charity
An' I'm gonna hold on for the rest of my days
Cause I know what it means
To walk along the lonely street of dreams
An' here I go again on my own
Going down the only road I've ever known
Like a drifter I was born to walk alone
An' I've made up my mind
I ain't wasting no more time
But here I go again
Here I go again
Here I go again
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